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What Does Love Mean?

1. "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8  

2. When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4  

3. "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5  

4. "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6  

5. "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4  

6. "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7  

7. "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8

8. "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen," Bobby - age 7  

9. "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)  

10. "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7  

11. "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6  

12. "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared.looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8  

13. "My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6  

14. "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 5  

15. "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7  

16. "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4  

17. "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4  

18. "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7  

19. "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8  

20. Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."                                                        

 
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Abraham Lincoln vs. John F Kennedy

1. Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.  

2. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.  

3. The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.  

4. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head.  

5. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.  

6. Both were assassinated by Southerners.  

7. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.  

8. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.  

9. John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.  

10. Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters.  

11. Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Kennedy.' Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln.'  

12. Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse. Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.  

13. Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.  

14. A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.    

The Graduate

A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate." the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how."                                               

Soft & Hard

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."                        

The 25th Anniversary

 
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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